Engagement party ideas: invitation wording, gifts and a toast to borrow
Updated 26 October 2026 · Written by Lysela
An engagement party (förlovningsfest in Swedish) can be coffee and cake at home or a dinner for twenty, and you decide when it happens, who comes and whether there are gifts, speeches and a toast. Most people hold it within a few months of the engagement, though there is no rule. Here is who to invite and how the party fits with your wedding guest list, six formats to choose from, invitation wording to borrow, how gifts usually work, and a speech and a toast to adapt. At the end comes what follows the party: the save the date and the planning.
Try it yourself, no account neededWhen to hold an engagement party, and who to invite
When
Many people wait a few weeks, so the news has had time to spread and you have had time to settle. You do not need a wedding date to celebrate, and the party can be months after the engagement.
Who you invite
Start with family and close friends, the people you want to hear the news from you. An engagement party is often smaller than the wedding.
The party and your wedding guest list
Nobody has to be at the wedding for having been at the engagement party, but many will expect an invitation. Decide the limit of the wedding guest list first, or invite only people you are sure you want there. More in the guest list guide.
Who organises and pays
You yourselves, or your parents or a friend who wants to organise it for you. Decide who pays before the invitation goes out.
Engagement party ideas: six formats
Decorations can be simple: flowers, candles, photos of the two of you and a sign with your names. Put the dress code on the invitation in one line, such as "festive" or "jacket". One game is enough, for example questions about the couple, so that guests who do not know you get to know you.
| Format | What it looks like | Suits you when |
|---|---|---|
| Coffee and cake at home | Coffee, cake and sparkling wine on an afternoon, for the family. | You want it small and simple. |
| Dinner at home or in a restaurant | One long table, a menu and a few speeches. | You are eight to twenty people. |
| Dinner for two families | Parents and siblings meet over a meal, with a toast to you. | The families have not met yet. |
| Barbecue or picnic | Outdoors in a garden or a park, with food everyone helps with. | It is summer and you want it relaxed. |
| Party with dancing | A venue, music and mingling all evening. | You want to invite many friends. |
| Surprise party | Family and friends gather, and the couple find out when they arrive. | Someone else wants to organise it for you. |
Engagement party invitation wording to borrow
Write the time, place, dress code, whether gifts are expected and a reply date. Replace whatever is in square brackets.
Hello, We are engaged and would like to celebrate with you. Come to [place] on [day] [date] at [time]. There will be [food] and [drinks]. Please reply by [date] to [name], [phone], and tell us about any allergies. Warm regards, [name] and [name]
We said yes, and now we want to celebrate with the people who mean the most to us. Come to our home on [day] [date] at [time]. No gifts needed. The best thing we know is having you there. [name] and [name]
Hello [name], [name] and [name] are engaged, and we want to celebrate them. It is a surprise, so please do not tell them. Come to [place] on [day] at [time], and be there by [time] so everyone is in place when they arrive. Reply to me by [date]. [your name]
Gifts, speeches and a toast at the engagement party
Gifts
Nobody has to give a gift, and many say so on the invitation. What tends to arrive is flowers, a bottle or a small keepsake. If you would like something particular, say so clearly. Otherwise the line "No gifts needed" is enough.
Speeches
A speech at an engagement party is short, one to three minutes. A parent, a sibling or a friend gives it, and you can say thank you yourselves. Longer speeches are often saved for the wedding, and how to build them is in the wedding speech guide.
The toast
The toast comes last in the speech. Fill the glasses beforehand, so nobody has to look for them when the speech ends.
Dear [name] and [name]. When [name] called and said you were engaged, I was so happy I had to sit down. I have watched you grow together since [when], and I know you look after each other. So I raise my glass. A toast to [name] and [name].
Thank you for being here. These are the people we wanted to share the news with first. The wedding comes later, and we will tell you when we know more. A toast to you.
After the engagement party: the save the date and planning
Once the party is over, the question of the date comes. If you have a date and a place, you can send a save the date now, so guests can set the day aside. The rest does not have to be decided.
Then you move on to the date, venue, guest list and budget, in the order the wedding planning guide goes through them.
Your wedding website can start with the save the date
With Lysela, you can start with the save the date before the rest of the page is filled in, in every tier. It is a card over the film with your names, the date, the place and a button that adds the day to the guest's calendar. You choose an address, such as yournames.lysela.se, and can share it in the message or on the invitation to the engagement party if you like. When the wedding invitations go out, you switch the card off, and guests see the whole page at the same address. On the example pages you can see the card as guests see it.
You pay once, SEK 795, SEK 1,795 or SEK 4,900 including VAT, and the site stays up for 12 months.
What usually goes on a wedding website, and what one costs, is in the checklist.
Frequently asked questions
Who organises the engagement party?
You yourselves, or your parents or a friend who wants to organise it for you. Decide who pays before the invitation goes out.
Do you bring a gift to an engagement party?
No, it is not an obligation. Flowers or a bottle are common if someone wants to bring something. Write "No gifts needed" on the invitation if you prefer.
Should everyone at the engagement party be invited to the wedding?
No, but many will expect it. Decide the limit of the wedding guest list first, or invite to the engagement party only the people you want at the wedding.
How long after the engagement do you hold the party?
There is no rule. Many wait a few weeks to a few months, and you do not need a wedding date to celebrate.
Read also
- What should a wedding website include? Checklist, timeline and cost
- Save the date: when to send it and what it should say
- Wedding guest list: how to make one, with a template to start from
- Wedding planning: how to start, and how to stay organised all the way
- Wedding speeches: who speaks, in what order and for how long