Wedding telegrams: what to write and how to send one
Updated 26 October 2026 · Written by Lysela
A wedding telegram is a short message to the couple that the toastmaster reads aloud during dinner. It is a Swedish tradition, and it works well for guests who cannot attend as well as those who can. Write two to five sentences: congratulations, one line only you could write, and your name at the bottom. Send it to the toastmaster by email or message a week before the wedding. Here are messages to borrow, grouped by who you are, and what to leave out. If you are the couple, there are tips further down on how to receive them.
Try it yourself, no account neededWhat is a wedding telegram, and who reads it?
The word goes back to when greetings were sent as real telegrams. Today it is a short text, usually written on a phone, that is read to all the guests. The toastmaster picks the moment, often between courses or after dessert. More about the toastmaster's role is in the toastmaster guide.
Telegrams suit anyone who wants to take part without giving a full speech. They often come from relatives and friends who cannot make it, colleagues, neighbours and old classmates. Read aloud, they let the couple hear the names of people who are thinking of them, even if the chairs are empty.
How to write a wedding telegram
Start with the names
Write "Dear [name] and [name]" or "To the happy couple". Everyone then knows who the message is for.
Keep it short
Two to five sentences, about half a minute to read. The toastmaster should have room for several, and guests listen best to short ones.
Add one thing only you know
A memory, a nickname the couple laughs about, or something you have seen in them as a pair. A general greeting sounds like all the others.
Sign with your name and how you know them
"Greetings from Lisa, [name]'s cousin" makes it easy for the toastmaster to read and for guests to follow.
Read it aloud to yourself
What is hard to say is hard to read out. Cut long sentences and jokes that need explaining.
What to write in a wedding telegram: messages to borrow
Replace anything in square brackets. A telegram is best when you add a line about these two in particular.
Dear [name] and [name]. We are at home thinking of you today. You have made each other the best versions of yourselves, and it is a joy to see. A toast from all of us to you both. Greetings from [name]
To [name] and [name]. We wish we could stand beside you today. Enjoy every minute, look after each other and come and see us when you are in [place]. Love from [name], [relation]
Dear [name] and [name]. It is now official that [name] never gets to choose the film alone again. Congratulations, and good luck with the remote control. From [name]
Dear [name] and [name]. We did not get an envelope, but we are thinking of you anyway. Eat well, dance a lot, and save us a piece of cake next time we meet. Congratulations from those of us who were not invited. [name]
Dear [name] and [name]. All of [team or workplace] congratulates you. We miss [name] at the coffee machine today, but we understand why. Celebrate properly, we will handle the email. Greetings from your colleagues at [workplace]
To [name] and [name]. We cannot be there today, but our toast goes to you from [place]. We will see you soon and want to see all the photos. [name]
Two became one, and it all fits so well. Congratulations today, and may happiness dwell. From [name]
You are married now, that went fast. Good luck with [name]'s snoring, may it not last. Congratulations from [name]
How to send a wedding telegram
There is no fixed address. Ask the couple, a family member or the wedding website who the toastmaster is, and send it there. A week before the wedding is best, so the toastmaster has time to read through and choose.
| Method | How | Keep in mind |
|---|---|---|
| Email to the toastmaster | Write the telegram in the email and sign with your name and relation. | Put "Telegram for [name] and [name]" in the subject line so it does not get lost. |
| Message to the toastmaster | Send the text as a normal message. | One message per telegram, and no images, so it is easy to read out. |
| Via a friend who is going | Give the text to someone attending who can hand it to the toastmaster. | Hand it over before dinner, or the toastmaster cannot fit it in. |
| Letter or card | Send the couple a card with a few lines. | It is not read out, but the couple can read it afterwards. |
What to leave out of a telegram
Inside jokes
If only you and the groom understand it, the rest of the room goes quiet. Explain it or skip it.
Old relationships
Do not mention ex-partners, a difficult start, or anything that could embarrass someone.
Jokes about bodies, money or children
What is mildly funny to you can be tender for someone in the room.
Too much length
A telegram that turns into a speech takes time from the others. Write a short one and send it.
Digs at being left out
Joke about not getting an envelope if you like, but keep it warm. The couple will have had reasons for their guest list.
Receiving telegrams: for the couple
Ask the toastmaster to collect the telegrams and read a selection. A handful is enough, or dinner runs long. The toastmaster can hand the rest to you in a pile or a folder to read afterwards.
On the wedding website you can add one or two toastmasters with a phone number or email and a short note to guests. Guests see the names and tap to call or email. It is worth saying in the note that telegrams can go there. The website does not collect telegrams for you, so they go straight to the toastmaster.
Guests who want to write to you directly can use the guest book, which sits on the page before and after the wedding. Your own thank-yous go in your thank-you cards.
Would you like to send a telegram, give a speech or show something? Get in touch with our toastmasters, not with us. Please send your telegram a week before the wedding.
Toastmaster and guest book on your wedding website
With Lysela you can add one or two toastmasters to your wedding website with a name, phone number or email, and your own note to guests. Guests tap the number or address to call or email, so everyone knows where telegrams go. A row only appears once the person has a name and a way to reach them. Telegrams go straight to the toastmaster, and the website does not collect them. The guest book is on the page in every tier, for the messages guests want to write straight to you.
You pay once, SEK 795, SEK 1,795 or SEK 4,900 including VAT, and the site stays up for 12 months.
What usually goes on a wedding website, and what one costs, is in the checklist.
Frequently asked questions
What is a wedding telegram?
A short message to the couple that the toastmaster reads aloud at dinner. It can come from guests who are there, or from relatives, friends and colleagues who cannot come.
How many telegrams does the toastmaster read out?
The toastmaster decides with the couple. A handful works well, and the couple can read the rest afterwards. Fit them between courses so they do not take too much time.
Can I send a telegram if I was not invited?
Yes, but check with the couple or toastmaster first. Keep it warm and short, and never joke in a way that sounds like an accusation.
When should I send a wedding telegram?
Preferably a week before the wedding, so the toastmaster has time to read through and plan. Get in touch earlier if the telegram is long or you want to send more than one.
More to read
- What should a wedding website include? Checklist, timeline and cost
- Wedding toastmaster: duties, a schedule and tips for the evening
- Wedding speeches: who speaks, in what order and for how long
- Wedding guest book: what to write and ideas for the book
- Wedding games for guests: the shoe game, mingle bingo and questions for the couple